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Pisces (Feb 23- Mar 22)
You are a pioneer type and think most people think you are a twat..... and you are!
You are quick to reprimand, impatient and full of advice. But no punter ever listens to you. You think too quickly.
You are the sort of person who Greens Up at the slightest hint of trauma running for miles and getting your mate off late.
You do nothing but piss-off everyone you come in contact with.
You are a thicko and would work well up in DRC.
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Aries (Mar 23 - April 22)
You have a wild imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI, CIA or PSB.
You have minor influence on your friends and people resent you for flaunting your power.
You lack confidence and are a general dipshit.
The sort of twat who induces Lignocaine fits without even giving it. You are by farbest suited to work on an FRU all by ya self !
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Taurus (April 23- May 22)
You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and work like hell. You even call up for GB’s
You think nothing of doing double 12 hours shifts.
Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded.
You are nothing but a perveted crossdresser.
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Gemini (May 23- June 22)
You are a quick and intelligent thinker.
People like you because you are bisexual and have a big willy.
You are inclined to expect too much for too little.
This means you are a cheap bastard and you had never bought your mate breakfast, dinner or a can of Coke
Geminis are notorious for thriving on incest.
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Cancer (June 23- July 22)
You are sympathetic and understanding to other people's problems, which makes you a sucker and a potential Station Rep or Sector Rep.
The sort of bloke who spends 4 hours on scene chatting up some old bird in the vauge hope of a shag.
You are always putting things off.
That is why you will always be stitching up your mates to go on a family friendly rota because you are scared of the dark on nights
You are not worth a belt of an FR2
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Leo (July 23-Aug 22)
You consider yourself a born Team Bleader.
Others think you are an idiot and a twat. Most Leos are bullies.
You are vain and cannot tolerate criticism.
Your arrogance is disgusting.
Leo people are thieving mothers and enjoy masturbation more than sex. If they can remember how to do it.
You are the sort of person who goes on Panorama in disguise telling everyone how we fiddle times for ORCON
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Virgo (Aug 23 - Sept 22)
You are the logical type and hate disorder.
Your shit-picking attitude is sickening to your friends and crew mates.
You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while fucking.
Virgos make good PTS drivers, porters and DSOs
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Libra (Sept 23- Oct 22)
You are the artistic type and have a difficult time dealing with reality.
If you are a male you are probably queer.
Chances for employment and monetary gain are nil.
Most Libra women are entonox sniffers.
Some of the stories you come out with are truely amazing.
All Libras die of venereal disease.
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Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 22)
You are the bloody worst of the lot.
You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted.
You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics, protocols and arse licking.You are destined to wear a white shirt and get 3 pips 7 cartwheels and a directorship and to spend your dying days in the boardroom at HQ
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Sagittarius (Nov 23- Dec 22)
You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on your luck since you have no talent or social skills. You love running on Blue Lights everywhere.
The majority of sagittarians are drunks.
You are a worthless piece of shit or your trousers off a drunk smelly tramp.
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Capricorn (Dec 23- Jan 22
You are conservative and afraid of taking risks.
You are basically chickenshit and the sort of person who creeps round the Guvnor at the slightest chance.
There has never been a Capricorn of any importance.
You should kill yourself before the Guvnor kicks you to death
Your unofficial nickname is “handbag”
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